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December 2016

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Dec. 1st, 2016

Good bye to Us

The One Who Broke my Spirit Free
by: Evelyn J. Castillo

He broke promises
He said I was the one. We’d be together forever. He wanted to propose but was waiting for the right moment. No one else in this world understood him or put up with him like I did. He’d never break my heart because I was his “Lois to his Clark Kent”
I didn’t hate him.

He blamed me
According to him; I wasn’t changing, fixing or trying in the relationship. He said I neglected him because I was too focused on my career and school work for the future I wanted us to have.
I didn’t hate him.

He abandoned me
the night I told him we were going to be parents, he was breaking up with me. He said he was depressed and he didn’t know why. He needed some time for himself.
I didn’t hate him.

He lied to me
after finding out he was going to be a father, he teared up and said he was sorry. He didn’t mean what he said. I made him the happiest man in the world. He had something to fight for. We were going to work through this.
I didn’t hate him.

He manipulated me

Every time I confronted him about his devious actions; he made an excuse, and made me think I was wrong. My feelings and doubts were invalid. I was crazy for thinking so negatively about a simple night out; the late nights with the boys or by himself. After being sent home from work at a convention in Anaheim, he was on his way home, stopped to grab a bite and fell asleep for four hours outside an Arby’s. He would be home in a few minutes… it was two hours later.
I didn’t hate him.

He cheated on me
I found out through a gut feeling that he was a cheating bastard. As I read the love notes from his “girlfriend” and her family wishing him a happy birthday, praising him for being such a good man and praying for him to marry her… my heart raced so fast I thought I was going to die of anger and betrayal.
I didn’t hate him.

He broke my heart
I cried for days like I had never cried before. We would have celebrated five years together, two weeks before I found out about her. It turns out they’d been dating since August, when I found out we’d be parents. I would have kept trying, not knowing he already had someone new.
He was cowardly dishonest.
I didn’t hate him.

We parted ways
I didn’t hate him. I didn’t wish him wrong. I didn’t meddle in his new relationship. I did however stop blaming myself. I stopped trying to understand or make it work; make him happy. You might say I’m crazy. You might think I was foolishly in love, but I had simply given up. I knew in my heart everything he did and didn’t do had nothing to do with me. He was struggling with failure and guilt.

He did this. He created this reality for the both of us. I just hope it was worth it.

Oct. 30th, 2016

You Lost Me

This song is on repeat. Everything is exactly as written. Our love has died.

"You Lost Me"
Christina Aguilera

I am done, smoking gun
We've lost it all, the love is gone
She has won, now it's no fun
We've lost it all, the love is gone

And we had magic
And this is tragic
You couldn't keep your hands to yourself

I feel like our world's been infected
And somehow you left me neglected
We've found our lives been changed
Babe, you lost me

And we tried, oh how we cried
We lost ourselves, the love has died
And though we tried you can't deny
We're left as shells, we lost the fight

And we had magic
And this is tragic
You couldn't keep your hands to yourself

I feel like our world's been infected
And somehow you left me neglected
We've found our lives been changed
Babe, you lost me

Now I know you're sorry and we were sweet
But you chose lust when you deceived me
And you'll regret it, but it's too late
How can I ever trust you again?

I feel like our world's been infected
And somehow you left me neglected
We've found our lives been changed
Babe, you lost me

Oct. 13th, 2016

His Birthday

He went out to celebrate after work without telling me about it. So I guess he isn't trying to work things out with me. What is he doing here then?

Nov. 3rd, 2014

What I'm feeling

"Brighter Than Sunshine"
By Aqualung

I never understood before.
I never knew what love was for.
My heart was broke, my head was sore -
What a feeling.

Tied up in ancient history,
I didn't believe in destiny.
I look up, you're standing next to me -
What a feeling.

What a feeling in my soul -
Love burns brighter than sunshine,
Brighter than sunshine.
Let the rain fall, I don't care.
I'm yours, and suddenly you're mine.
Suddenly, you're mine;
And it's brighter than sunshine.

I never saw it happening.
I'd given up and given in.
I just couldn't take the hurt again -
What a feeling.

I didn't have the strength to fight.
Suddenly, you seemed so right.
Me and you -
What a feeling.

What a feeling in my soul -
Love burns brighter than sunshine.
It's brighter than sunshine.
Let the rain fall, I don't care.
I'm yours, and suddenly you're mine.
Suddenly, you're mine.

And it's brighter than the sun.
It's brighter than the sun.
It's brighter than the sun, sunshine.

Love will remain a mystery,
But give me your hand, and you will see.
Your heart is keeping time with me.

What a feeling in my soul -
Love burns brighter than sunshine.
It's brighter than sunshine.
Let the rain fall, I don't care.
I'm yours, and suddenly you're mine.
Suddenly, you're mine.

I got a feeling in my soul.
Love burns brighter than sunshine,
Brighter than sunshine.
Let the rain fall, I don't care.
I'm yours, and suddenly you're mine.
Suddenly, you're mine.

I got a feeling in my soul.
Love burns brighter than sunshine.
It's brighter than sunshine.
Let the rain fall, I don't care.
I'm yours, and suddenly you're mine.
Suddenly, you're mine.
And it's brighter than sunshine.

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